Psychologist offers healthy arguing tips

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (WIAT) — Do you ever find yourself getting into arguments with your spouse or others that you end up regretting?

Chances are that’s happened to most people many times, but experts say there actually is a healthy way to argue.

When it’s done the wrong way, you often say things you regret, which can lead to hurt feelings and resentment.

However, research shows those bad feelings in a relationship can lead to depression and overall poor health.

The bottom line is that a person’s inability to have simple disagreements can cause major problems.

“Arguing is a form of communication, and when couples stop communication, the relationship’s in trouble,” UAB psychologist Dr. Josh Klapow said. “So, arguing is not necessarily a bad thing, but there are ways to argue in a healthy and productive manner.”

Klapow offers some tips when arguing.

He says it’s important to keep your cool. When emotions are flying, many people can’t think clearly.

It’s also vital to soften your start up. Try to bring up problems gently and without blame.

Don’t be a mind reader. Instead, talk about your feelings and now what you think your partner is feeling.

Think then speak. Once the words are out, you can’t take them back.

Lastly, repair before exiting. Do something to end on a positive or at least neutral note.

2014 WIAT-TV CBS42

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